My name's Rocky and my master, Shaun, has written several books about me and my adventures. Now he's got a website he's let me keep a diary and post my thoughts on the website. I've called it Rocky's Barks and Howls - howls for the damage that man's greed has done to the environment and barks for when I get really angry with someone or something (some of my barks are reserved for Shaun) and for Snowy, the other dog who invades my kingdom. I've had an exciting life and Shaun's books are based on some of my adventures and he's added some new twists. But sometimes I just like to lie in the sun, so don't expect a diary entry every day!
Rocky's Barks & Howls - January to December 20093 December 2009
Well today I went with Shaun to see a doctor about Shaun’s neck which was nearly broken in one of our adventures some time back, anyway, the Grinch who owns the business, Shaun works for, was bitterly complaining about Shaun being late as he had to wait for the doctor, the Grinch called Shaun irresponsible et al, and that he should get back to work asap (‘Sorry Doc, but I think my neck has snapped!’ ‘Don’t worry about it, take two aspirin and call me in the morning. . .’). The entity in which the business is located was closed, no freakin’ entry buddy, caprice! But the Grinch demanded everyone should be at action stations. Snowy agrees with me, that if you like wearing pink sequined t-shirts, try not to act like too much of a queen!
15 November 2009
Well, we’re still hunting that crook, sent letters to the Angolan Embassy, which by the way, they never acknowledge receipt of. I’ beginning to think Africa’s full of crooks and that there’s no honesty here. Gee, even where Shaun works to get extra money for the books he gets robbed, no paid holidays, you get to work 6-7 days a week all the time. Oh yeah, there’s deduct this, deduct that, you were late, gotta deduct more money. Oh we deducted half you salary, so sorry, that should be four fiths, uh no, let me just recalculate that, yes that’s right, you owe us R4000, how will you be paying it, cash or credit card? The cherry on top is that if anything goes missing Shaun has to pay for it. But hey, times are hard. I do agree he should chuck it in given the opportunity. At least Scrooge gave the guy working for him (the guy on crutches) a turkey. Unfortunately the guy Shaun’s working for is a turkey and would way over-charge for the bird, after stripping all the meat off and cooking it with Tiny Tim’s crutches, telling him to crawl back home in the snow and make sure he’s not late tomorrow, otherwise he’ll charge him one month’s salary. He makes Scrooge look like a spendthrift. Oh – you want food from the cafeteria, you pay full price, just remember you don’t deserve a lunch or tea break. The place does have its perks, though, you get shouted at and belittled by the senior management, Mafutha and Skorho, and generally maltreated like any slave should be. But wait, I thought slavery went out of fashion in the middle of the nineteenth century – evidently not!
15 October 2009
I guess it’s official, Shaun and I and the Angolan education department were duped, fell for it like big chumps, the guy saw us coming. Anyway this Mr. G$$$$! fella, walked away with R35,000 and a Jeep Cherokee. . . All sponsored by the Angolan education department and in Mr. G’s pocket. I guess we’re not the only ones though, turns out he’s a professional con-man, as we met someone who he nearly sold a yacht to in Mozambique. Luckily the guy came across the real owner so he cancelled the deal. But don’t worry folks’ the law always catches up to criminals in the end. Anyway my next book will be ‘Rocky and the disappearing Jeep.’ It is a shame that Shaun believed his lies. . . ‘I’m just having the Jeep serviced and washed’. . . then, ‘I’m just fitting some new tyres to it’. . . then, ‘I’m busy , I’ll see you later’. . . then, ‘I’m just busy shipping something to Angola, be there by the latest 5 pm’ . . . then, ‘I’ll talk to you tomorrow.’ Friday came, Shaun called the guy, he said, ‘I’ve never had the Jeep, what are you talking about, it’s with some Angolan business men, they’ll release it when I get the papers.’ Honestly, what a load of crap! Sorry, but there’s no other word to describe it. Anyway, may you be cursed to the grave Mr. G, may a plague of worms eat you alive, may you be infested with sand fleas for the rest of your life and may your seed dry up and vanish for the rest of eternity. . . Get the picture! I hope someday I can bite you in the ass you toad! The Mounties always get their man, and eventually, so do I. . .
25 September 2009
Today the South African government rejected the plea of the Kyoto Protocol to reduce carbon emissions. Their spokesperson said a developing country should not be subject to emission controls at all but should develop and destroy the planet. . . That is what it boils down to. The U.S and Chinese governments also rejected the protocol because they’re developed and it will hurt their economies. Now let me understand this, the logic is not there, or brain cells for that matter. . . If everything is dead on planet Earth including their dumbasses, how on Earth are their economies going to benefit cause’ there’ll be nobody around to benefit from them? Their stupidity amazes me. . I really think we should punt Snowy for world presidency, I mean, she can’t do any worse than the fools running the world at present, can she?
10 September 2009
Shaun spent a while down in Borneo and really loved being in the jungle, but we’ve heard some very disturbing things happening down there. The Freeport Macmoron mining company is doing a lot of damage to riverene systems and the jungle, and of course the indigenous people that populate the area, turning the rivers black with coal residue from open cast mines. Just another nail in the Earth’s coffin. And, while Rome is yet again burning with the help of the Indonesian government spurring on and instigating arsonists, Anglo American is prospecting Papua Island in the hope of being able to strip mine coal on a vast scale, and so, doing the Indonesian government a great favor by destroying all animal and plant life on the island so they can decimate the tree dwelling peoples of the island. Previously they had flushed the island with vice and money and an influx of settlers. They outlawed the traditional longhouses as well. Why can’t governments leave people be. They have no respect for them, all they want in their greedy little hearts is the land under their feet, the forest wood to sell and the coal to fill the bottomless greed of theirs. . .
9 September 2009
Today I’m doing nothing, just sleeping while we wait for intelligence to come in. Besides it’s hot, what else would you expect a dog to do! Other than that Shaun’s studying a book on mammoths and the causes of their extinction.
8 September 2009
Today we’re on a stakeout. I think we should do this more often, as Sinty just came back with some wors rolls and chips. And, yeah, did it taste great! Kind of hot in the car, next time I’ll wear a fedora, a raincoat and have a cigarette hanging out the corner of my mouth. . . Sam Spade ain’t got nuthin’ on Rocky Holmes and his faithful sidekick Snowy Watson – scourge of the underworld!
7 September 2009
As you can see we got back in one piece. Today we’re making phone calls to track down the miscreant. This time it’s an electronic nose that’s needed, not my olfactory one. . .
6 September 2009
Today Shaun, I and Sinty were doing a bit of detective work. You see we were meant to get sponsorship from the education department of Angola for my third book and a jeep for the TV series, but, it looks like someone called (sounds like) Zaspar, has scaled the money and stolen the jeep. So, umpteen calls later we’re cruising in a scaly neighborhood following up a clue. Shaun brought his camera, but it’s the kind of place, that if you stand in one place too long they’ll steal your underpants, luckily I don’t wear any. I think I’ll keep my head down just in case dog is on the menu, in some of the sleazy food joints around here. . .
27 August 2009
I guess I get mad at times, but it’s just the way humanity behaves that drives me up the nearest conical beehive hut. Even the director of the place where Shaun works behaves like a drongo by yelling at Shaun and insulting him in front of people. Shaun stands there stoically and doesn’t say a word, but I know what he’s thinking. . . But don’t worry, Shaun will quit working here shortly and we can go back to the bush, thank ≠Gao!na. . .
26 August 2009
How is this for a scam, evil doers are now scanning newspapers and internet sites and notice boards for unwanted pets, ‘need a good home,’ advertisements. The swines then promise the animals will get a good home, then, cart them off north of the South African border to places like Malawi, Zimbabwe, Angola Mozambique and goodness knows where. They either end up as dinner or in dogfights or as guard dogs, hunting dogs or anything that the evil doers want to. People should remember, a dog is for life, they are part of your family, so don’t abuse us or give us away to evil men who want to make money out of our misery. . . It’s funny, people advertise for good homes, but their pets end up abused, unfed and maltreated by the dregs of humanity, monsters that have no feeling for anything save their blackhearts and the greenbacks in their wallets. . . It’s a shame they can’t be treated the same way. . . There are Homo Sapiens on this planet Earth who have no soul, no empathy, no conscience – just evil in their black hearts, and, fetid, diseased blood made from putrid sewerage. . . Creatures like that need to be eradicated off the face of the Earth. . .
17 July 2009
I thought I’d make a political statement today, so I took a dump outside a politically aligned organization that is supposed to help humanity, but which only helps themselves to fancy cars and suchlike. . . I get tired of people saying they are helping solve the problems man himself has created and they end up only helping themselves to the coffers of honest hard working people. . .
15 July 2009
What a strange turn of events. I know Sinty’s parents don’t like Shaun but even a stray dog gets scraps thrown from the table. . . Shaun’s not even allowed that. . . Here are the rules from Sinty’s parents: (a) He is not allowed to sniff, consume or look at their food. (b)If riding in a car with them he is not allowed to talk and may speak only if spoken to. (c) Shaun is not allowed to voice an opinion on anything. (d) Countermands ‘b’, Shaun is not allowed to sit in their vehicles. . . I wonder if Shaun begs, rolls over and barks, maybe he’d get treated better?
10 July 2009
The big question is, does Shaun smirk, was he smirking or was it more of a suppressed laugh? Possibly a little of both – the reason – Sinty’s parents think he just lies about on his dog blanket all day scratching his fleas like Snowy. They also think he’s got as many as two brain cells, just like Snowy as well. I guess some people are just too intelligent – just like Snowy! No, Shaun has nothing to do all day (kind’a like Snowy). He doesn’t have a full time job to fund the environmental project, like my books and cartoons and the documentary series – and the books are written by themselves are the cartoons, the shooting scripts and everything else. It just pops down out of heaven like the manna did for the Israelites, or 4x4’s for Tony Yengeni. Gee, all the e-mails also get magically written and sent as well. . . This perception of Shaun as some dumb cluck or chicken just ain’t on, sure he was raised on a farm, but he ain’t no country hick. And yes, he has his faults, even me, I dropped one on the sidewalk yesterday, but it wasn’t my fault, I got caught short, alright. There was a point to all this but I’ve forgotten what it was. . . Anyway, I have to share this with you, it’s about the criminals in South Africa, definitely the worst in the world, ‘I mean they’re so bad they don’t even obey the laws of the jungle!’
19 June 2009
This week people magazine has a really well written article on me and just a little about dad. He’s not jealous about it, says I deserve it. Snowy, however, is a tad jealous, and said ‘why didn’t they interview her.’ Anyway, I like the photo’s of me, especially the one of me standing on the rock. . .
18 June 2009
I’m still Kind of recovering and taking Metatronics, a herbal supplement and anti-oxidant et al. Shaun hasn’t had any problem with cockroaches. All I can say is beware of tallish East Asian dudes with an evil malicious visage wearing dark glasses and loves screaming, ‘Take the pen away, take the pen away!’ Anyway just goes to show the pen is mightier than the rifles and handguns these guys carry. . . Oh, he also has a penchant for talking into his sleeve and wearing a squiggly plastic earpiece. Oh, and just loves bathing in rock salt. . .
17 June 2009
I took a bite of Cocoa’s tail. He’s a little Somali kitten. Goodness knows why I did it. I really am sorry but I couldn’t help myself. Sometimes you just get an urge. Much like the urge to rip coal out of the ground 120 kilometers from Gab’s in Botswana. More pollution added to the atmosphere and more big bucks in scumbag’s pockets. So they can produce more electricity to create more climate warming and environmental damage to ultimately destroy the planet – The butterfly effect. Gee! I bite one little kitten and the whole planet goes up in smoke!
16 June 2009
I was shocked to hear about a rhino that was darted by poachers last week. The evil-hearted men sent the poor animal to sleep then hacked his face apart to get its horn. To do such a thing to any creature is revolting, disgusting and inexcusable. The perpetrators should be shot on the spot for their cruelty. This happened at Krugersdorp game reserve, not far from the Rhino and Lion Reserve. Has man no conscience or no feeling and empathy for his fellow creatures on Earth. It really is time for a change of mindset for humanity. That and much stricter harsher penalties for the perpetrators and more reward for people that turn them over to the law. . . A real revulsion has to be brought about through media on all levels and children need to be educated. . . Down the line the users of the products have to be castigated and their countries need to be boycotted. Seems to me these bad guys need to be brought to justice? What do you think?
11 May 2009
It’s Shaun’s birthday today. Unfortunately we had to work, as usual, yawn!!!! Gee, even I’m getting tired of it, all this to’ing and fro’ing. . . However dad says, ‘Rather put the effort in now and push in the right direction, than wait and procrastinate. . .’ I mean we do have to save the planet don’t we. The over-developers don’t wait. Trouble is, there’s plenty of them and only two of us! That is, if you don’t throw Snowy into the equation. . .
10 May 2009
We had an attempted burglary last night – They didn’t get anything but a fright! The first would be thief knocked over a trashcan while trying to steal a fridge, Snowy barked (she can do good things, not many, but then again she is Snowy), then Shaun went for him. He’s a bit bigger than a Rottweiler, but just as effective. He growls too. Anyway, I looked on and stifled a laugh as the, would be, thief broke the hurdle record over the fence. . . Shaun then picked up a rifle and went to check the front for accomplices. There were two trying to steal a pickup. Picture this if you will, you’re a thief trying to steal a vehicle (in South Africa I think it’s legal) when someone comes out with a rifle and starts to walk quietly towards you. . . Anyway, they changed their minds about stealing the vehicle and broke the 100 meter record for sprinting. . .
10 April 2009
Bath day today, first me, then Snowy. I’m glad Snowy and I don’t take a dip together ‘cause I think she’s got worms! When she gets dried she looks like a cross between a polar bear and a Tasmanian devil, with all the fur fluffed up around her neck. If Shaun ever stuck us in a bath tub together, I’ll leave to another planet on the next available rocket!
7 April 2009
Shaun found a kitten for Sinty, a Somali to replace Chantilly, whom she lost. It’ll still be awhile before they pick it up, but it seems to be the best option of finding a furry little companion for her. Everyone needs a soul mate in the form of another species. I’ve got Snowy, and I still don’t know what species she is – or for that matter whether she even comes from planet Earth? Really starting to get cold now, think I’ll shave Snowy for some extra fur!
18 March 2009
Today is a really sad day, Chantilly, Sinty’s Somali cat was put down. She was fifteen years old. She went to a vet for a cyst on her foot and came back sick, then they said they had to put her down because she was old. I’d like to jab a needle in that S.O.B’s neck and put him to sleep! I don’t think it’s right, neither did Shaun or Sinty. There are some vets who practice just to make money and enrich themselves and overcharge tremendously, plus do a horrendous job. ‘We put your animal down, so, here’s a big bill, ha, ha, ha!’ Chantilly always followed Sinty, wherever she went, she shall be sorely missed and was loved by all. . .
15 February 2009
It’s getting colder, winter seems to be early this year, seems like there’s a wind coming in from the Antarctic – or rather, what’s left of it, with all the ice shelves breaking free. There is still a lot of talk about saving it, but still no action. There is however a lot of action to scale more money from the general public here though. They want to build more power stations using coal to provide more energy and carbon wastage, stuff that we really don’t need in the future. Especially if every house used solar heating etc, the morons here have got so much sun for solar power. Anyway it don’t matter, there’s plenty of sub-surface coal in South Africa and Botswana, we can just rip out the soil. Why should we care if a few species die in the process, besides, who needs wetlands anyway, ooh, ooh, we can build another deep sea port and wreck another eco-system! ‘Oh, is there global warming – don’t talk nonsense, it doesn’t exhisht!! Hic! Hic!!’ The induhviduals here must have been drinking too much jabula and been driving, drunkenly, their fancy new cars that cost millions, but, for some unknown reason only cost one dollar. Just a shame there’s no intelligence they can dig sub-surface as well! Because as you know what this world needs, like a hole in the head, is more pollution, yes we definitely need to pump more carbon into the atmosphere so we can destroy the planet that much quicker! Why should we care as long as we can live in the lap of luxury, have fancy clothes, a fancy car, fancy house, get drunk and booze ourselves under the table. Oh, I forgot, we should also slaughter cows in the garden and eat the whole thing, wouldn’t want to waste it, would we? So we can all be big fat pigs! If you’re thinking I’m being a touch sarcastic, I am! The Chinese are doing a great job of destroying the planet so why can’t we join in the rush that so many countries like Indonesia and India are embracing, it’s so invigorating. . . What this world needs is more people, more pollution, more waste, more deforestation, more global warming, more squandering of resources! That just about covers it, doesn’t it?
24 January 2009
The level of abuse by man upon the Earth and its life isn’t sustainable, and I’m rather befuzzled by human’s and their greedy ways. It’s nice to see President Obama getting to grips with some of the greed in the U.S. government. Hopefully the ethics and morals will trickle down to business men as well. . . I wonder if I’d asked ex-pres Bush, ‘does he wear ladies underpants when flying like the Canadian Air Force pilots do,’ I would have got the same response, ‘The president will continue looking after the American people’s security and economy. . .’ If so it would mean yes! Shaun is busy writing the foreword for ‘Rocky and the Origins of Man.’ He’s finding it a touch perplexing as how do you make humanity understand that they are living in a period of time that is rapidly coming to a close, as the interglacial/interstadial period of warm weather and plentiful rainfall is rapidly drawing to an end. It is a time when man has been able to overpopulate the planet because of crop and food production, when he has raped the oceans around the world to fill the bellies of the wealthy and lazy ones. Man has become so lazy and complacent. They all think it is going to go on forever and ever, never ending cycles of overpopulation and overdevelopment. Gee, how stupid is that! Every dog knows that once you’ve licked the bowl clean, ain’t no more food gonna come back magically. Unless of course you subscribe to Snowy’s self help book, ‘Sustainable Growth for Dummies, Presidents and Financial advisors!’ Doesn’t take a moron to realize that the whole planet is under threat – all life included. . . I mean take fish for example, is it sustainable to eat all the fish in the oceans around the world. It seems like governments and fisheries think so. It’s like, ‘Oh, we have fished out all the fish where we live so let us go take all the fish from over there!’ Well done boneheads, that’s using the old noggin. . . I also feel a bit peckish, think I’ll go over to Snowy’s bowl and steal a fish. . .
23 January 2009
Snowy and I have been reading National Geographic magazine as its raining outside, cats and dogs so to speak. Snowy stinks and needs a bath. I had one this morning. Her hair gets everywhere and she has this tendency of rolling about on the carpet and getting under everything that moves, ie, people and me. She’s just plain irritating at times. Anyhow she’s kind of still today, and yes she’s still breathing. Back to the magazine which is all about the effects of pollution in the form of greenhouse gases. The ocean absorbs a third of the carbon dioxide man creates, but the increase is such that it will kill off all life in the oceans if we don’t do something to cut man’s emissions down soon. . . Man is such a strange animal. He God to step down from heaven and clean up the mess he is making. It’s Kind of like the kid who walked in to the museum, he’s not interested in Steve Irwin, not interested in wildlife nor the environment or life on Earth, in fact his grandfather said why should they bother, when they die everything should be destroyed anyway as they won’t be around to enjoy the pleasures life has to give. That sentiment was followed by his grandson too. . . I know of someone who just made 120,000 million clams selling coal, as his part of the profit, ‘Just another commodity like oil,’ he said. What they fail to recognize is that these two products are destroying our planet. Anyway, what does the guy do, goes out and buys a 3.1 million clam automobile to pollute the planet even more. The only thing he gives a damn about is enjoying the fruits of his ill gotten gains. I don’t know about you but there’s something wrong in this equation! Snowy’s bad, but at least she has one brain cell that tells her when something is wrong. . .
20 January 2009
Well, today’s the day of Obama’s inauguration. Ex-President Bush has created lasting damage to the planet, for while Nero fiddled, the planet burned and the polar icecaps melted, because of his refusal to sign the Kyoto Protocol (all for business reasons and to enrich the wealthy). Today is also the day the polar icecaps shrugged off large quantities or ice into the ocean. It’s quite a bit too, enough to swamp many cities and cover islands in many parts of the world. Well done Ex-President Bush, you have triumphed yet again. Shaun wrote a letter to Bush and in return the President answered that he would protect the U.S. economy and American people. Well Mr. Bush, enriching the Republic of China at the expense of American industry and jobs and in so doing supporting global warming by aiding and abetting a country that uses coal to the extreme and has no sense of preservation of anything, and, by handing the U.S. economy to the Chinese people of said Republic on a plate, is not exactly what Shaun had in mind when he asked you about saving the planet and doing something about global warming. . . If though, by that you construed Shaun meant were you in fact producing more global warming – you were wrong, he meant the other way round!
13 January 2009
Last night I dreamt that Snowy and her chicken followers were standing over me waving palm fronds, honestly, I have no problem with being pampered, but every now and then she’d roll over and lick my toes. The chickens make kind of a mess also. Shaun won’t be impressed when he has to clean up their mess on the carpet. . . Shaun and I have been busy working on the marketing of my books and a backer, so we can reach a bigger audience. It looks promising! We’re also hard at work with putting the pieces into place for the TV series we’ll be filming at the Rhino reserve. So hopefully you’ll see Shaun and me on a screen near you, soon. . .
1 January 2009
We’re working today. Frankly I could do with staying in bed, but someone’s got to look after Shaun. . . I forgot to tell you that Shaun took photo’s of me and the Miss World girls. They were really nice. Unfortunately I really needed to go, if you know what I mean! I went and Shaun picked it up – eeuchhk! (He did use a plastic bag though!). . . RRRWUFF! What is this world coming to. . . the Republican party being party to (excuse the pun) the destruction of the ‘Endangered Species Act’ which provides protection against overdevelopment in areas that affect animals, plants and insects. Now I thought the Republicans would help save the planet and its life. I guess I was wrong! President Bush in all his wisdom, or lack of it, and his friends in all their greed, are hell bent on destroying the planet and its life for the profit it brings them. Shame on you President Bush for even considering removing the laws let alone actualizing a contemptible action. The question I would pose is who profits from such a misuse and abuse of governmental powers, and how close are they to those in seats of power. Respectfully President Bush, these actions are utterly disgusting and damage the fabric of life on Earth. It is not your right as the President of the United States of America to destroy any species on our planet or any other! To President elect Barrack Obama, the baton has now been handed to you, and it is your duty as a sane rational man to do undo the evil that has become law in the United States of America. You have the power in your hands to make the world a better and safer place, a world where man does not impact adversely on the lives of other species and shunt them into extinction. Humans do not have that authority. Use the power in your hands wisely with temperance and save the Earth and all its species. . .