Rocky Books - the stories of a Staffordshire Bull Terrier and his master, Shaun Chapman, in Africa
Rocky Books are great adventure stories for children and adults, with a strong environmental message


My name's Rocky and my master, Shaun, has written several books about me and my adventures. Now he's got a website he's let me keep a diary and post my thoughts on the website. I've called it Rocky's Barks and Howls - howls for the damage that man's greed has done to the environment and barks for when I get really angry with someone or something (some of my barks are reserved for Shaun) and for Snowy, the other dog who invades my kingdom. I've had an exciting life and Shaun's books are based on some of my adventures and he's added some new twists. But sometimes I just like to lie in the sun, so don't expect a diary entry every day!

Rocky's Barks & Howls - September to November 2007

8 October 2008

Sorry I haven’t been keeping up with my diary but Shaun and I have been proofing reproofing, reproofing, reproofing and again proofing and reproofing and reproofing and reproofing, my second book, ‘Rocky and the San Bushman!’ All I can say is, it is extremely time consuming and tedious. . . At least now we can say it is at the printers finally, thank goodness – now we can start on ‘Rocky and the Wilddogs.’ Shaun and I are taking the illustrations and handwritten copy to be scanned and photocopied for typing and layout. It is boring dog work, but I am a dog. . . My eye is still sore, Shaun and my Doctor, Tanashi, are doing their best, but it’s going to take time.

16 November 2007

Boring morning at home for me while Shaun went to the hospital to drop off Joe Smith's* (*assumed name) personal effects. Old Joe wants to escape from there and sprint for home but his stomach looks like a baseball now with all the stitching and the surgery he's had; still, at least he's alive. The doctors said another few minutes and he would have died. Shaun said it reminds him of an Adam Ant song about 'Murder Happy characters have such fun, they murder happy characters one by one ….' Joe told him how the knife man was laughing after he'd done the dirty deed, and bystanders too. How evil and unconscionable is that! Criminals such as that do not deserve the gift of life! Their evilness is in their blood. On a lighter note we went up to the airport to drop off some of my books and went to see Anne. One of my favourite humans as she always gives me biltong and I always do a few tricks for her for my reward. Turnaround, roll over, crawl, hop, and I get three packs of biltong – I call that a fair trade …. On the way though, all my favourite trees have been cut down and replaced by miles upon miles of car sales outlets and shopping emporiums – haven't those idiotic over-developers ever heard of global warming – guess not – they've either too stupid or just too greedy to care. We were stuck in miles and miles of grid-locked traffic just trying to get to our destination. Talk about over-population, over-development, over-greedy and overtly stupid. But, hey, it doesn't take much more than some dripping mucus and some used chewing gum to pay off the powers that be; to allow them the right to destroy whatever land they require.

Am I mad, yeah, trees give us life so they should have the right to live ….

We went to the restaurant at the airport but were told they don't allow dogs – dogs where! I didn't see any dogs, just me Shaun and Sinty. Unless of course he was referring to himself? But the only thing that I smelt was a rat ….

PS It's nice being a celebrity, 'cause people are always wanting to have a photo taken with me.

10 November 2007

Last night we had a visitor, an intruder, now Snowy may be pretty dumb but she is a good watchdog. It was 1.50 in the morning; Shaun and I were half asleep when we heard the footsteps. Snowy went for him, then Shaun and I burst out the door and the creep ran off as quickly as possible ….

I guess that was the start of a bad day …. Later on after dropping off two books, Shaun and Sinty, his friend and I ran into some trouble. We went to pick up a ring for her from a jeweller but he had just been stabbed badly in the stomach. If it hadn't been for my nose and cell phones to locate him he would have gone into shock and died. Anyway Shaun drove him to hospital at the speed of light, the doctor's prognosis, "He'll live!" …. Well, I'm going to bed, and Shaun well, he's reading a book about Richard Branson, his back's still sore, but hey, that's another story …. Good night! Wuff!! Oh, by the way T.I.A. …. This is Africa!

4 November 2007

Snowy nearly got run over today, she pulled herself off the leash trying to attack some other dogs, then promptly ran into the road. Luckily the car stopped. Kinda reminds me of man cutting down all the forests on our planet, trouble is I wonder whether the car will stop in time?

A little while ago a hyena stepped into a wire snare, it managed to extract itself by whatever means it could. By the time the rangers found it, the wound had turned gangrenous. They euthanased it. Personally I would have let it survive even with one leg; yes it would have to remain in captivity but it would serve as a reminder to those cruel hunters and trappers and poachers as to what happens …

Went to the market today and saw a really ugly hat, German conical felt hunting, with a long feather. Underneath was an even uglier painting. Now I’m no art critic but I also had to relieve myself, if you know what I mean! Shaun said to me he was glad no-one saw the puddle – oh well!! Maybe it’s time we started going out to more art galleries ….

21 October 2007

Yesterday on our travels I noticed a metro-policeman throwing trash out of his official car onto the street. I said to Shaun he should go over and have a word with the officer. Shaun replied “One of two things will happen: he’ll either shoot us or arrest us saying we’re disrupting his official duties1” Yeah, I guess it is the duty of all policemen to throw trash on the street whenever they like. But honestly, I think such people are a disgrace to their uniform …. Today started with a long walk with Snowy. She has this irritating habit of walking in front of me and wagging her tail in my face though. Plus she just has to bark at everything on two legs or four. She even wanted to pick a fight with two very large Alsatians. But that’s Snowy for you, a small white dog with just enough brain cells to move her mouth, kinda sounds like a politician doesn’t it, or the so-called developer who run around the world saying we need more roads here, more roads there, a shopping centre near every outhouse in the outback, an upmarket golf course with all mod cons and pent houses attached to them, more office blocks, industrial facilities, town houses, concrete and tarmac to cover the earth for more parking of the vehicles that produce CO². Frenetically do they run hither and thither as the banks lend them more and more money. And so it goes on and on. So, what happens now that everything has been built on and you’ve destroyed the whole planet? Oh, what’s that? You don’t care because you’ve made your overly large grossly obscene profits …. I kinda figured that …. I’ve been training Snowy to bark every time she senses greed and avarice. Funny thing is, every time Mickey Rump comes on the TV she goes ballistic!

I have a question for stumanity. If you cut all the trees down on all the continental landmasses, where do us dogs lift our legs? And what are we going to breathe? Cause there won’t be any oxygen – 200 years ago oxygen made up 50% of our atmosphere, now, it’s down to 20% - go figure that!! When your so-called developers and logging companies go cut down or burn trees, don’t think you’re being intelligent cause you’re not…

18 October 2007

While the planet is falling apart and characters like Mickey Rump are tearing down trees and pulling apart the natural habitats of birds, bugs and wildlife, and building up-market golf courses with high price residences attached, condos, sports centres and hair salons, Snowy, well, she just plonks herself down in front of the TV to watch her favourite sports. Rome could be burning around Snowy, civilisation is its entirety destroyed by waves upon waves of aliens munching dog biscuits – but Snowy, well, she’ll still be there watching her favourite sports…. Which brings me to an epiphany about the human race as a whole – while the planet is falling apart you assist in its demise – you follow sports like the Romans at the coliseum while Rome burns around you; you use your motor vehicle with impunity without thought to carbon pollution, as to your use of coal and all fossil fuels. You produce waste in the form of trash to lead a highly hedonistic lifestyle without thought or care to others who have nought, but suffer because of some of humanity. There is no point of dressing in holy robes when you care not for your brothers and sisters of other species. Some of you destroy creation for profit, bulldozing and building, on the holy of holies, unbroken ground! Snowy only has half a brain, but even she knows the difference between right and wrong …. Start caring about the other species on mother earth and their homes …. Wuff!!

17 October 2007

Snowy ‘n me were discussing global warming this morning. She’s agreed to give up her great big gas-guzzling SUV for driving around town. She’ll use a bicycle instead or walk. She had to admit though, that she looked great in her fancy outfits, big pearl necklaces and bracelets, the expensive watches and shoes, and of course the crocodile handbag. And, letting it all hang out while driving around town. People always stare at her. No, silly! Not because she’s a dog, but the fact she doesn’t have a clue about applying make-up!

3 October 2007

Shaun can't get to sleep he's listening to Michael Buble and reading a book on pre-Hellenic and Palaeolithic myths. He's still fuming after a pretty disastrous meeting today. Now when I say disastrous I mean it went down like the Titanic carrying a full load of lead bricks …. Remember the series I was telling you about, well we made a short film and I thought I looked pretty good in it, bar my bout of gastro trouble and the fact I was feeling a little ill. Well – the executive producer of a well-known South African show said I'm too old and not boisterous enough, he said I should be running around chasing and biting the animals, and jumping up an down on top of Shaun, i.e. acting like Snowy with a lot of barking,; he said I'd peg off soon – how nice of him! I'm just not even the breed he's looking or (hey, the show wasn't even his idea it was Shaun's and mine). And as for Shaun, he doesn't like him one it. Maybe Shaun should be more like the fake plastic presenters they already have …. rrrruuff!!

It was pointed out to him that it was Shaun's concept and he shouldn't take it further without Shaun's approval, as a major channel the producer works for seems to really like the idea. Shaun's associate said he should take anything he's offered, well, he's been offered the directorship while Shaun's been offered next to nothing – Shaun's response "You can wait till hell freezes over!" Shaun's associate and friend responded "I'll go where the money is," i.e. with the executive producer. I suppose you do only find loyalty in dogs … I was wondering if we shouldn't take Snowy over to their offices and leave her there …. Serve them right! Anyway, coming from someone who can't even remember the name of Steve Irwin and his programme ' the crocodile hunter' – could you expect more? The moral of this story is 'no matter how much people run you down, you have to believe in yourself: your abilities and future capabilities, and what you are doing. Because if you don’t, no-one else will – Belief in self above all else – a little bit of dwoggy wisdom for you …. wuff, wuff!!

Oops, I just heard a thump! It wasn't the producer falling off the wall but Snowy, humpty dumpty like – doesn't she ever learn?

2 October 2007

Don't you think development on the planet has gone too far? I mean, there are just too many humans on Earth, they are creating a negative impact upon it with waste and draining the soil of nutrients. The time to change is now because if man thinks as the power companies do – "Oh, we should have the whole planet lit up like a Christmas tree at night!" When that happens it means that most species will have become extinct and mankind's fate is sealed – his doom would be next – "Hey guys get a brain!! I'll even lend you Snowy's, its processing power seems a lot better!

What goes on in developers' minds, only – ka-ching!, ka-ching! and the rustle of dollars in their pockets …. I reckon the conversations between developers and their Environmental Assessment companies and bodies must go something like this – Developer: I've got some trouble with the gold-speckled doohickey sparrow, it's holding up my development and it's endangered – it's the last breeding ground on earth for it –
EAACB: "What! Not the gol' darned doohickey gold speckled sparra' – I thought we'd killed that one off – never mind we'll take some poison, some gasoline, and a shotgun and sort the problem out ---
See, the developer gets what he wants, since he pays for the environmental impact study – How messed up is that?

I've got a brilliant idea, why don't you all take a plastic container, and ask the next take-out guy you go to, to put his fast food in it instead of taking polystyrene – or even ask your grocery store to give you the cereal without the packaging. Even Snowy agrees with me on that.
Maybe the corporates can even join in, instead of plotting amongst themselves on how to destroy the planet and make big bucks for themselves – How about doing your best to separate trash, start a compost heap for organic material, and really see that your waste is recycled – unlike in Great Britain and the US, where it was found that waste for recycling actually ended up in a common dumping ground – create less waste – it involves everyone – ask yourself, is it right for people to create so much trash and waste, and have such an a diverse effect on the planet? Snowy and I think now ….

1 October 2007

Snowy 'n me were just chewing the cud 'n we figured it's not a marshal plan that is needed to boost the economy of the world, but 'Rocky's environmental plan' to sustain all life on the planet! Governments are living in a dream world – 'Sustainable development' is their Holy Grail. This is just not possible – even Snowy agrees on that. It is an unattainable goal when there are finite resources, limited land, water, etc and a vast swell of stumanity to come in the form of future generations. And what about other species – no one ever bothers to factor them into the equation. One day the bubble will burst. Balance is what is needed, just like Snowy when she tries to stand on the wall by the stairs – except she continually falls off and lands on her head …. Some dogs will never learn …. Just like all the governments of the world! Ever wondered about man's fixation on heroes, demigods and gods? How about the ever-present demons and those that cause calamity for mankind? Do you think that maybe man should take a deep, long, hard look in the mirror? How can he keep praying to his gods or God about the mess he himself is creating – otherwise, he will be in the same positions as tribal members leaving rainfall to their shaman (NB rain-making ceremony only to be done, when rain about to come!) – wuff!!

30 September 2007

When I say it's raining cats and dogs, I mean it literally, I'm sure I saw a couple float past me.  There we are running, Sean has his green poncho on, but it's like we just jumped into a swimming pool because the effect is the same.  Anyway, lighting flashed around us …. and then … well we got home.  But it reminds me of when Shaun was in the river at the bottom of the farm with a surfboard, okay so you tell me who's the smart one, me on the bank or Shaun with the surfboard in the bush in a river with crocodiles.  It was rather hot so I jumped in …. and … sank! straight to the bottom.  Shaun swam after me and pulled me to the surface …. and that's why I don't like water ….

People don't think dogs are smart but I've never seen a seeing-eye human for a blind dog, have you?  Have you ever wondered that life is a consequence of the universe, just as heavy elements are formed by the tremendous pressures and heat of exploding stars, i.e. Nova and Super Nova.  Just as galaxies, stars and planets are also formed.  It is a natural progression of the universe on planets that possess the right qualities to sustain life forms – this in no way cheapens or denigrates life because of its multitude in the universal scheme of things – as intelligent life is a scarcity – aka Shaun – just kiddin' – wuff!

Have you ever wondered too about the scramble for survival on earth and how genes are transmuted and gradually the more archaic species fall to the side replaced by species more able to complete and pass on genes, even now it is taking place by hominids desiring certain qualities in their offspring and gravitating to where these genes are available – even if it is on a subconscious level.  It's like compound interest over millennia …. the burst of intelligence only took place after hominids gained the ability to communicate properly and pass on information and abilities.  I've used hominids as a way of describing both Australopithecine and the Homo genus, my genus 'Canis Familiarus' has changed dramatically because of man's needs imposed upon us.  I've digressed here a bit, just like the governments and the Untied Nations of Idiots who do it all the time to take your mind off the real problems the world is facing.  Irritating isn't it ….

28 September 2007

Man seems to think that all that matters are his economies. The economy of this, the economy of that – 'my, our economy is doing so well, let's pull down another forest or concrete over a wetland and put up a shopping mall , an industrial complex and an office block. Maybe we'd better add a stack of condos as well. These are all inanimate objects, they will decay and won't last. The dinosaurs ruled the earth for 300 million years, homo sapiens has been around 50,000 years preceded by archaic sapiens, neanderthal man, erectus and a host of australopithecine hominids, then to ardipithecus ramidus 4.4 billion years ago to our very distant progeniter ramipithecus 16 million years ago Man is a blip on the time scale, yet he is about to destroy everything, every living creature on Earth – he is about to bring to ruin, and end, a creation process spanning more than a billion years, because of this stupidity …. and that's not funny! You cannot continually destroy mother nature, with her finely tuned mechanisms, the oceans and seas act as a purification plant keeping the earth clean, the forests and plants provide oxygen and purify the atmosphere, the polar ice caps, the mountain snows and glaciers, aquifers rivers and lakes, regulate seasonal water flow. Everything in its own place. Disrupt this and you disrupt the very nature of life on Earth….

26 September 2007

Just finished a 4 km run and had a drink of water – some idiot wearing a white bandanna and bling bling drove up to us yelling, "sell me that dog, sell me that dog!" The idiot doesn't even know my name. He carried on "That dog would do well in Alexandra!" For dog fighting. The pig, wanting to try and steal me from Shaun. Shaun told him in no uncertain terms to get lost. If I ever come across him again, I think I'll bite him where it hurts …. Many dogs have been stolen by kids and adults from Alexandra for use in dog fighting. I'd like to see them thrown in the ring and torn to shreds …

One thing I've noticed about humanity, nobody cares about the environment or global warming, everyone uses their cars and 4x4's with immunity, they waste electricity. They will only do things 'cause it makes them money or to further their own selfish needs and wants. Every time I pass a billboard with a picture of a meadow on it and the writing "for new development" I cringe – don’t they understand that every bit like this around the world amounts to a whole lot that is killing off flora and fauna at an ever increasing amount. Humans just don't think or just don't care – shoot it, kill it, eat it, develop it, destroy it! Only one day there will be nothing left but the bones of mankind bleaching in some desert that used to be lush forest ….

25 September 2007

Seems like humankind could do with some clarification on a few points xx the Kyoto Principle:
All environmental pollution goals should be mandatory, not inspirational. Otherwise nothing, repeat nothing, will be done about them.

All countries should reduce their greenhouse gas emissions by at least 5% from their 1990 levels by 2012. There are no exceptions or exemptions. China and India are not developing nations and they are also largely to blame for global warming, as are all nations, developed ad so-called underdeveloped. Let me repeat this – NO COUNTRY IS EXEMPT FROM MAKING THESE CHANGES. Let me add something here – development as regards building should also be slowed down or stopped completely on unbroken ground also logging and the felling of trees and burning of forests – start using some common sense – because from the outside looking in, humanity has become insane …

20 September 2007

Shaun went down to the 'China City' today. He didn't want to take me just in case someone wanted to make sweet 'n sour flied 'Wocky'. And honestly I'm glad he didn't as he saw the most atrocious rubbish he'd ever seen – made from plastic resin. Windmills, ugly things, powered by electricity with little glowing, spinning balls. Cheap knives, cheap beads, cheap pictures, cheap clothing, and much, much more, all cheap cheap cheap. Why he even saw some absolutely revolting wildlife oil paintings, topped off by a pink pig that was meant to be a white rhino. The knives were phantasmagorical with no use whatsoever, just to stick on your wall or mantelpiece ….

Is this the legacy future generations (that's if man survives) will find in trash heaps in the future? – 'the trash society', it will be called – one thing I'd like to know, do humans actually buy the stuff, because they must produce the junk on such a vast scale. I can just imagine the owner of the company that makes the windmills rubbing his hands together and sniggering. "soon, soon my comrades we shall fill the world with our windmills", add some maniacal laughter, then "It will not be long before all the gold in Fort Knox is ours and the Americans, they shall have our resin windmills, add more maniacal laughter. Everything they make breaks, or it's poisonous, or it has no useable function whatsoever, i.e. it's just meant to stand there and look ugly – sorry I meant pretty, in an ugly sort of way. All they do is manufacture tons and tons of trash. It's like the colonists trading glass beads for Manhattan Island, except in this case it's windmills. I reckon they should keep their junk in China ….

19 September 2007

It's time you humans started putting up billboards with the messages: Have you serviced your car? Is it a hybrid electric-hydrogen? Join a lift club! Walk or ride a bike! Work from home! Just to get the message over that misuse of vehicles is causing global warming …. Do you absolutely need to make that trip? Can you work from home? Do you combine your errands? Do you live near work? …

Do you humans have a right to destroy the Earth? The answer is no. All I ever see in the paper are pictures of humans. You are a very self-absorbed species. What about the rest of creation. Let's have some stories about dogs or horses, or even Albanian sheep herders with their flocks. It really is rather depressing as I paw through the paper, page after page of humans …. So back to my first question to which the answer was no. Why don't you do something? It's not going to hurt your economy, it's just like the end of the steam era and the industrial revolution. This is another revolution – The Environmental Revolution. And it is very necessary, the shining jewel in space called Earth is under threat from humanity's over-development, over-pollution, over-population and absolute disregard of nature and her workings. The blame can be laid squarely on the shoulders of oil companies, motor manufacturers, coal companies, power companies, governments for their inaction, people with their lack of concern, logging companies, people who slash and burn, people who burn forests for profit, people who buy products from those destroying the planet, people who produce waste, and those of you who preach hatred from your pulpits, people who procreate with impunity, people who overdevelop and damage mother nature. It is now time, you, Mr or Mrs Average Joe citizen, got involved to end this mess ….. Bow wow!

It is time that the world ceased to power the economy of China, stopping them from destroying the planet. It is time the world brought countries such as Indonesia to heel for burning her peat and destroying her forests. It is time the US government took cognisance of the problems she is creating and helping to perpetuate …. wuff!!

18 September 2007

Shaun and I went to a school today to give a talk. It was really nice to hear the girls and teachers recite my environmental pledge. It's a shame that more schools don't feel this way inclined and care passionately about the plant and its wild creatures. I think the girls realise that the waste we produce involves everyone and we should all do our part to solve the problem. Some of the girls took me for a walk around the playing field. That's when I came upon two Canadian geese. Well I am rather partial to birds so I took after them with one of the girls hanging on to my leash … Their teacher is going to use the pledge at assembly which really makes me happy. It's high time an environmental consciousness was engrained in all schools and even governments and corporations, hey you can even use it a t meal times if I'm invited …. r-r-ruff! Uh, oh yeah, Shaun says I should add that no ducks were hurt in the production of my diary …. I'd like to ask a question: How is it that traffic lights instinctively know you're late for a meeting and always turn red just when you drive up to them?

16 September 2007

Just a thought, why don't people think of the environment first instead of themselves. Take the Antarctic for instance and all the tourists flooding to it. They're so-called eco tourists. Well, use a sail oat or row there buddies, can you not see you're contributing to the global meltdown. Instead of going on holiday every year and contributing to even more carbon waste with your cars use a horse, do on a cycling holiday or better still, take the kids and do something like picking up trash in your area, be detectives, find out who is despoiling nature, plant trees go help at a wildlife reserve, become a scientist and produce non-polluting fuels, just don't use your cars or planes or things that des troy mother earth – it's called temperance. If everyone tidied up the area they lived on in their part of the planet the world would be great, the seas, the air, the ground. One word to companies also, think not how you can abuse and take from mother earth, think what you can do for her. Do not beak new ground, do not despoil her beauty, do not break her rocks and pristine habitat into a billion pieces, for she is all we have …. So, why not designate one day a week as a non-car day, stay at home and do something positive such as plant a tree …., or, even, ponder how all these millions you've saved up can be used to save eco-systems and wildlife on our planet …

15 September 2007

Speaking of great sacrifice, do the people who work for organisations such as the WWF and Endangered Wildlife Trust ever sacrifice themselves? I think not. Shauna and I approached them and it seems they're not interested in assisting a world environmental teaching project at all; they have to keep their money for their own pockets. I mean what do they do, because or the amount of time they've been around, the world and its wildlife are no better off … You see their logos and some pretty coffee table books, but what else, I'd like to know, Maybe they should go and play golf with the rest of the corporates … Shaun told me that when he was young he would take his little trolley cart and go around the lake they lived next to on Pixie Road and collect all the broken glass and trash eh could find, okay, so he was young and was wearing a superman cape and his red underpants on the outside, but hey, the thought's there. I think that's what these wildlife trust guys should do, but wit one teensy alteration, may be they should take their underpants off their heads so they can see better … wuff!! There are only two sorts of people in the world, so said a marine staff sergeant to Shaun once, pretenders and contenders. The contenders are the ones who will pay the ultimate sacrifice for what they believe in. The question is which one are you? And it is not a question of glory but what is right.

14 September 2007

Over the weekend I had a lovely time in hospital, they even stuck a thermometer up my ….. Today was Shaun's day to go, well at least to visit his doctor. Last night his heart started to beat erratically; this morning he could hardly move he was so dizzy. I even had my walk cut down from 4 kilometres to about 30 metres, when he had stabbing pains in his chest. He phoned his friend, Vince, who's a doctor, he said, "the good news is if it carries on it'll form a blood clot, you'll get a hear attack and die, the bad news is you may get a stroke became paralysed and be a vegetable". Either way it didn't look good. he had an ECG and it checked out fine the doc said, no more coffee, no more tea, cut out the chocolate and don't eat six bananas in one day. Asked whether he had any medical problems or operations, Shaun said no just some 27 broken bones and other assorted injuries. I guess the stress of operating my environmental project on a shoestring (actually it's more like a thread of silk from the spider that's making a nest in his wallet) is getting too much. We have the book series, he's already on number fie, the website, the cartoon series, I take care of the diary the TV series, the animation series, and, generally, informing the world of the dumbo choices man makes when it comes to the environment. Somebody said to him yesterday we should stop doing environmental talks and he should stop working on my books in favour of finding a menial job and becoming someone's slave so he and I can lead a more secure life. Heck I've never xx myself helping Shaun pick up trash from the sidewalk, there's nothing wrong with it otherwise how are we going to keep the planet clean, anyway. I suppose saving the world from itself just ain't good enough a cause for some people, is it? Even if it means great sacrifice?

12 September 2007

It's amazing how focused governments are on the process of change, stopping global warming, reducing carbon in the atmosphere, bringing major polluters to heel, saving the forests etc I can just visualise the White House on December 20, 2015 … "We have disease running rampant, our oceans have risen dramatically because of the ice caps dissolving, people are dying worldwide of famine, all the glaciers have melted, 50% of all wildlife has become extinct, there are no forests any more, desert is encroaching our cities, we have huge tornadoes and earthquakes destroying towns and cities everywhere, we have floods when it rains …"

"Look on the bright side, we have toilet paper and our economy is booming!"

Where's the president?"

"She's out back sunbathing …"

Out in Indonesia, present day, smoke is wafting away from fires from burning forests.

"Does this do any harm to the environment?"

"No! The blokes blowing away from us ,,,,,"

China vs USA, environmental talks, China's team is opposite the USA's. Chinese President "Capitalist imperialist dogs we shall overtake your economy" Translator "Greetings friends from USA". Chinese President "We shall take all your money, then your raw materials, then buy your country." Translator, "we agree to fair equal trade". *Chinese President, "We only care about the environment if it suits our purposes, and stomachs." Translator "China supports the environment and in future we will strengthen our efforts in this regard." Chinese President: "Our shoddy products and packaging will fill your waste dumps." Translator "We believe in recycling and providing good quality lasting goods." Chinese President: "One day we shall invade your land and force our culture upon you." Translator: "We look upon these talks as a bridge between our two peoples and welcome the exchange of culture and goodwill."

10 September 2007

I was pawing through the paper Shaun left on the floor and, what do I see? All the presidents of the world having an internet conference and deciding upon a radical but brilliant plan by me to save the planet from ecological disaster …. Unfortunately not. They just decided that their economies need to grow even bigger an after all what possible value does the environment have, so, we may as well destroy it now!! Have uninterrupted growth for a few years, enrich a load of individuals that are already loaded and when the climate really starts to fall apart we'll be out of office and can put the blame on someone else – brilliant, just brilliant I say, only problem is your retirement may well be a lot shorter than you think it will be …

9 September 2007

Well, I'm back home thanks to my doctors, Thandi and Peter at the Parktown Emergency Veterinary Clinic. We were meant to do some filming for a promo of my show 'Rocky's World', but that's scratched cause I'm still feeling a little rough! Peter is also very concerned at the mess man is making of the planet. He was telling Shaun and me how all the lakes in Canada have gone sterile because of industrial air pollution from the United States and how a tribe near Lake Tukana in Tanzania live a life without materials of the developed world, but how their lives are under threat because of global warming and the pollution from western developed counties, how their water sources are drying up and their food sources are becoming diminished. He thinks it's about time the citizens of the USA started reducing the material goods they over-consume and their carbon imprint, because it boils down to the fact that the US creates too much waste, and they import far too many trashy goods from China, who reap the benefits by absorbing US dollars to use for their own ends. He feel it is necessary on a micro level for people to keep their environments clean, don't litter, don't produce waste and buy your goods at shops that don't use packaging, take your own containers. I agree with him wholeheartedly because this is one step on the road to a clean planet – and thanks Doc for helping me get better …

8 September 2007

Rocky's at home, he's at the vet's and very ill with gastro-enteritis, so I'm writing his log entry today. It's either the water that has bugs in or something he ate, I'm not sure which.

During the night he had the Katmandu quickstep then started vomiting this morning. I took him for a walk in the morning but had to carry him home the last 200 metres. I am very worried. We rushed him to vet. Thandi examined him and said he should be fine with the proper medication…

7 September 2007

Shaun's really tried hard to get corporation sponsorship but to no avail. All the sponsorship money for social responsibility has to go to their golf competitions. Now that's an idea – Snowy 'n me could travel all around the world playing golf with the corporate dogs, and play golf! I reckon we'd get loads of corporate sponsorship. I mean forget the environment what we need is more golf, and more global warming with our added use of fossil fuels to get from one place to another on our golfing tournament … what a great idea! Besides, more global warming means clearer bluer skies and more golfing days – too hot to work but great to walk around the green hitting the white ball, playing golf!

While we're on the subject of sponsorship, all these corporates that have pictures of furry animals under threat and slogans such as 'we care about the environment'.  Really, well, what have you really done other than to use it as an advertising gimmick?  Do you get out and teach global environmental problems and solutions?  Does your money do anything but add to global warming in real terms?  It's time you got off your corporate high chairs, took the dummy out of your mouths, rolled your shirtsleeves up – and said, "now is the tie we start working on reducing our waste stop o\polluting the atmosphere and start to teach every individual on the planet how to lead a clean life … Bow wow to that, I say ….

6 September 2007

'Phew!' It's hot and it's only the 4th day of spring – it's like midsummer. After my walk this morning I flaked out on my bed and made like a sausage until my run just now. Shaun's lying on the bed with a migraine from the heat. So while he's indisposed I thought I'd write this simple prose… On our run I noticed one big thing, humans in cars, plenty of them, all over the place, and exhaust fumes, tons of 'em, choking me half to death. It seems like man is a slave to his vehicle, preening it, washing and even scrubbing it, Shaun's dad had his car polished with a brillo pad once before, some idiot thought he'd make it bright and shiny – the bright spark. Seems like the World Bank has a legion of bright sparks just like that working for them. They want Africa to eventually be full of power plants producing electricity to build and develop Africa. Well now, let me see, the planet is under threat because of global warming, all life is under threat of extinction because of over-development, and you want to put up more power stations and develop this continent, uh sorry, destroy this continent just like you have the so-called developed world just so you can make more money for yourselves and the fact you don't put the environment first and the survival of man and beast. You should think less of your pocket and more of the balance of nature vs a civilisation that is destroying the fabric of all life on planet earth ….

1 September 2007

I went to sleep last night sleeping between Shaun's legs as normal, this morning when I woke up I must have taken a quantum leap onto "the planet of the morons". I mean, there's Snowy chasing her tail and going round and round in circles just like the rest of humanity, cutting trees down on mountain slopes then wondering when it rains – why do we have floods? Or 'why is all this topsoil being washed out to sea? Why is arable land becoming less productive?
If I trip Snowy up and she falls, she'll stop chasing her tail …. I wonder if that'll cure the madness inherent in humankind …. I hope it's not catching, they say that humans can catch diseases from animals – I hope the reverse isn't true!