Introduction
My name's Rocky and my master, Shaun, has written several books about me and my adventures. Now he's got a website he's let me keep a diary and post my thoughts on the website. I've called it Rocky's Barks and Howls - howls for the damage that man's greed has done to the environment and barks for when I get really angry with someone or something (some of my barks are reserved for Shaun) and for Snowy, the other dog who invades my kingdom. I've had an exciting life and Shaun's books are based on some of my adventures and he's added some new twists. But sometimes I just like to lie in the sun, so don't expect a diary entry every day!
Rocky's Barks & Howls - March to December 2008
31 December 2008At last my second book is out, ‘Rocky and the San Bushman,’ is printed and finished, and, on the shelves. I can’t wait for the next one, ‘Rocky and the Wilddogs,’ is out too. Maybe the end of February? Shaun and I are pushing for it. I have officially been made a ranger and education parks officer with the Rhino and Lion Nature Reserve. I am the first dog to be made one, I understand. So Shaun and I (He was also made a ranger by them) will be working on and off there, giving talks and doing ranger like things. Milking wildebeast, escorting wart-piglets across roads, acting as psycho-therapists to neurotic giraffes et al, just kidding. Which brings me to my next subject, and Christmas day, with a neurotic psycho-therapist we ran into. . . After telling Shaun she didn’t like men ( her name is Heidi, so if you meet her jump off the nearest cliff to avoid her) she proceeded to tell him what he should do with his life. Now , she must be pretty intelligent as she had never before met him. For the next 40 minutes she proceeded to interrogate Sinty about her life. The only thing she didn’t do was apply thumb screws and stick her in a spiked coffin and close the lid. With a therapist like her (who needs her brain analyzing), there wouldn’t be any sick people on Earth they’d all be doing their best to leave the planet.
18 November 2008
I guess I don’t feel like making any witty comments at the moment. I had my left eye removed because of the eye specialist’s misdiagnosis. I have never before felt so ill and sick with a migraine for a month and it made my whole body ache. Shaun’s lawyer said he still has to pay the balance of the specialist’s bill even though he screwed up. Shaun phoned twice because he was so worried about what was happening, but was told to just continue with the eye drops. Well he did, and now I don’t have an eye. It’s a shame people don’t accept responsibility when they make a mess of things, ‘allegedly,’ was the word they used. I nearly died because of one person’s negligence, and that, is not right. . .
17 November 2008
You may wonder why I haven’t written for some time. Life hasn’t been too kind to me, I nearly died because of wrong medication from the eye specialist, which I was allergic to, then, because of that I had to have an operation. It was touch and go. It really upset Shaun too. . . At long last they’re making me a ranger/ parks’ officer with the Rhino and Lion Nature Reserve. Shaun had a weird dream, or rather three, but then Shaun always has weird dreams. At the moment it’s about eyes. . .
21 August 2008
Sorry I haven't kept up to date but we've been busy selling my book and finalising the second book 'Rocky and the San Bushman'. Shaun's been pulling his hair out in frustration, as normal. Wrong disc, old proof copy et al. At last, however, it should be fine and at the printer next week.
We appeared on E-TV's breakfast show this Tuesday – Cindy the presenter was very nice to us. Asked us if we planned to do a TV series, Shaun said yes and we had already pitched it to E-TV!
Last night Shaun had a dream and I was in it too, seems like Tom Cruise invited us for lunch: baked beans, egg and a cell phone. Shaun said to Tom there is no way we could eat the cell phone with the knife he provided, so Tom kindly gave him a sharper one. Anyway, after slicing and dicing the phone and eating half of it, Shaun complained of a sore stomach and we left. I wisely stuck to eating the baked beans and egg! … There is a moral somewhere in all this – but I can't think what ...
22 June 2008
This last week wasn't a good one, on Thursday I went blind because of blood clouding my vision. Shaun rushed me to my vet, Peter, and he referred me to an eye-specialist. A R1,000 later, three forms of eye-drops and some oral medicine my vision is now clear. It's not nice being blind. I'm developing cataracts so Shaun and the eye specialist agreed I should have an operation some time in the future … Oh yeah, Shaun also broke his toe this morning – now he's hobbling around ….
One thing I have noted, global warming has caused in drought in semi desert areas, is a gradual shift of humanity out of the Karoo areas into larger towns. I think people need to extrapolate what's happening in these scenarios, what with high gasoline prices and food prices and realise the prognosis. Especially with the way they buy consumer goods from China and India. While propping up these economies and populations they use the money earned to drastically impact natural resources, using them all up. You do realise that the forest of Borneo South Africa and central Africa will be laid bare by all this consumer want, don't you? And in the end – all economies of the world and their populations will suffer. It is the time of many men – but even this time will end because of this greed. Humanity has suffered near extinction in the past but now thinks it is immune – for what you do to others, it will be done to you …. Nature, can be a severe harsh teacher …
14 June 2008
It's been a while since I've put paw to paper but I've been a touch ill. One of my paws (my writing paw) swelled up badly due to a puncture wound and I had to go on a course of anti-biotics. Gee, I was so sore all over I could hardly walk, a virus I suppose? … I'm up and ready for action though – bring the bad guys on!!
Shaun's nearly got the money together for the next book 'the San Bushmen' so hold on to your bush hats!
Went for a walk with Snowy yesterday. I'm sure she must have lost her remaining brain cell because she nearly pulled out of her harness on a busy street – she's a proper Houdini, considering it's nearly impossible to get out of. Shaun grabbed her by the snout to pull her back. Can't take her anywhere …. and as for her barking, every human and every dog and every blade of grass …. crazy dog!!
15 May 2008
On the subject of man and what makes him and her tick maybe we should get the animal into perspective – no pun intended! Wuff!
Man – he's an animal who has passed through many stages from nakenlipitheus makayine some 10 million years ago when the slit from the other primates occurred to ardipitheus Ramadus 4.4 million years ago, when he stated to become more human-like, through the Australopithecus period, when he became an upright biped, continuing his path to the homo genus whereupon the magic brain enlarging formulae of the ice ages and then inter-glacial and inter-stadial periods caused a synaptic explosion in the apes' cranium. Undergoing various periods of societal-cultural changes to the present period of war, strife and an egocentric materialistic way of life … I just hope he comes to his senses soon while there is still life on planet earth to save from the ravages of mankind …
The stages above are all transitory states of human development; the next, a realisation of his minuteness in the full scheme of things and a more moderate caring nature that nurtures instead of destroys – a coming to terms with his place in the universe.
Hopefully it'll come soon before he destroys every living creature on Earth!!
27 April 2008
Shaun got bitten by a lion today! But don't get too worried, the lion didn't find him that palatable and spat him out. That and the fact he was still a cub albeit with very sharp teeth! We were just trying to get the photos for the fifth book cover finished …. Jon is still working on my and Snowy's cartoon strip, which I have to say looks really funny ….
Have you ever thought about the essence of humanity and what makes mankind tick? So have I, and the conclusion I came up with is that the vast majority of humans are empty husks with no conscience or core, just self-centred and self-serving. How do I qualify this, just take a look at the world that man has created around you. Makes you think doesn't it?
20 April 2008
Sinty's parents really don't like Shaun … Heck they don't even call him by his name, just "Fella" or "your friend". He doesn't feel welcome in their house at all, and even though he works his butt off they think he's just plain lazy and a good for nothing. Most times Shaun 's up at 6.30 and working writing my books researching data bases, running 5 kms to work then back and continues on our stuff and only finishes at about 11 o'clock when he falls asleep. Last night he fell asleep in mid conversation with his dad on the phone!
By the way, he still makes time to take me for walks …. Oh yeah, they like me even less …. They allow Shaun to set foot on their property …. They don't want me within 2 kms of their house ….
Uh-uh – Snowy's in trouble. Mr McGregor, her owner, doesn't like her pulling all his fruit down and d\chewing on it!! Would you expect anything different – it's Snowy we're talking about here!
19 April 2008
It was my bat day today. If Shaun calls I obediently go to the bathroom and climb into the bath … We washed Snowy outside. The first trick is to catch her as she runs all over the garden. The next is actually getting her to sit down and try to avoid all the water she shakes.
In the end Shaun had to trap her head between his legs to rinse her off …. Shaun had had a bath just before me but he needs another one now that he's all wet and covered in white fur!
Oh yeah – I almost forgot, Snowy looks like a cross between a little polar bear and a werewolf when she's wet!! Wuff …
10 April 2008
Shaun took an extra job to make ends meet. It's just amazing how the greedy people of this world keep pumping their prices up. Right into the gas tank!! What I'd like to know is how many forests there will be when those same greedy people start pulling them all down to make bio-diesel – just as they are now – but on a much vaster scale!
9 April 2008
Can you believe it, Shaun, Sinty and I went to a park and a human guard told him dogs weren't allowed. Now I think that's unfair especially as there were a load of cats lolling around – is this species racism … Even though Shaun complained and said that technically I was a cat in dog's clothing and that I was his son having the essence of humanity in me, she wouldn't budge … Gee what does a dog do to get into a park …. You save lives, write a pledge to save the environment, are the hero of a series of books, and you still can't get into a park, because you're a dog – isn't that strange?
6 April 2008
Shaun dreamt about zombies again last night, I was there too. We were running from them as they were destroying the world. All the goodness of man and Shaun's photographs and good experiences were locked in a box and we had to rescue it fro them …. I liked the part when Shaun pierced an arrow through one of their evil hearts from the bow he was carrying. Anyway we saved the box …. There is a moral to the story and a correlation – bow wow!
PS I nearly forgot, I was doing what a dog normally does against a lamp post when I slipped and rolled over onto my back …. Shaun laughed his guts out … Hey, it wasn't my fault the lamp post moved, hokay!
2 April 2008
Gee, a dog does a good deed and another dog, who I've never seen before, gets the credit and is placed on the front page of the Citizen. Great isn't it, I pick up the bruises and some hussy with a red collar picks up the credit. They even got Shaun's name wrong – 'Cartman', never heard of him! Wuff! Wuff!
31 March 2008
It's Sunday today and we went for a walk, seeing as it was bright and sunny. We were passed by some shady characters who really did give off a bad vibe and an even badder smell. A little later we ran into one of them beating up a woman, while others just stood around watching her get pummelled and used as a punching bag. Unfortunately the bad guy hadn't counted on the R and S factor – Rocky and Shaun. So, it wasn't long before he was thrown in to the back of a police van and Phillip drove the perpetrator and his victims down to the local police station where he was thrown in jail after being charged with assault and grievous bodily harm. It's nice to do a good deed, isn't it?
FullHouse